Caution: Don’t Feed the Succubuses

Caution: Don’t Feed the Succubuses

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Over the lifespan of the Tasteless Gentlemen, I’ve drafted ample articles addressing the faults and shortcomings of the fairer sex. “Women,” to the layperson. As someone who at least attempts to be unbiased and fair, however, me thinks it’s time to point some fingers and blame at my own gender.


If I had a dollar for every one of my male friends who is involved, on any level, with a soul-ravaging female succubus, well… I certainly wouldn’t be writing articles for a website frequented by people who spell “progress” as “T-R-U-M-P”. I have an inordinate number of friends who have long since conceded their manliness to a wife, girlfriend, fiancé, etc., for the simple reason that… Well, to be honest, I haven’t a fucking clue why men date some of the women they do, but I do have my theories.

The world is filled with billions, literally billions of women. Yet for some odd reason innumerable men settle for these cunty half-wits who bring nothing more to the table beyond their looks (and even their attractiveness is largely debatable, depending upon who you ask). It’s as if these men hit a point in their lives where they simply said, “Fuck it; I’ll never do any better,” or “Fuck it, I’m simply done trying.” And to those men I have only to say, “Fuck you.” If you give up on at least attempting to find someone with whom you can be remotely happy, you deserve every ounce of misery to befall you. And shut up about the “Oh, but she’s so hot” bit; it’s tired and old… just like she will be in a handful of years.


No woman, good or bad, is going to respect a man who merely settles, or gives up on chasing that which he wants or desires. Fuck, if you ask most women, half of the appeal of the opposite sex is a man’s drive and motivation. If you are one of those men who simply resign themselves to a fate of mediocre blowjobs and bi-monthly sex because you’re afraid to be alone, then I repeat, “Fuck you.” You deserve whatever it is you have coming (and it ain’t gonna be you very often).

Men, the point I’m attempting to make is simple. Whenever your significant other fell for you, I assure you, it was because you were a man. You represented strength, masculinity, assertiveness, willpower, ambition and motivation… amongst other attractive attributes and virtues. (Every sensitive woman reading this is now officially triggered because I associated those traits with men and not women… You’ll live.) You weren’t a pushover with no dreams of your own, whose sole purpose in life was to cater to the needs of a female partner.


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