Caution: Don’t Feed the Succubuses

Caution: Don’t Feed the Succubuses

Why? Because women aren’t fucking attracted to that! And you knew (and still know) that! But at some point during the course of your relationship, you stopped asserting yourself and started allowing your woman to call the shots because you somehow managed to convince yourself that’s best. News flash: it isn’t.

Whatever fucking Facebook article you happened to read about women wanting a man to tend to their every need is fucking bull shit, and was likely written by a woman. You see, that’s what women tell themselves they need because it feeds into that princess ideology they’ve been force fed since they were wee little lasses. You know, the tale of the knight in shining armor, storming the castle, defeating the army of fuckboys before him and giving the princess the world and beyond? Yeah, that one. But you know what happens when you get the world? You get bored and want another planet instead.

Why do women fuck fuckboys, in spite of telling themselves over and over again that they’re no longer going to do that and are going to only fuck “nice guys?” Because nice guys tend to be the same assholes I mentioned above who allow themselves to be taken advantage of… and then women get bored. And around and around we go…

It’s quite simple, really (say that with a British accent and it’s much more fun): 1) Be nice, but don’t let women walk all over you. There’s a fine line between “nice” and “naïve.” 2) Have some self-confidence for fuck’s sake. I’ve fucked some insanely gorgeous women over the years for two reasons, and two reasons only: 1) I will approach and interact with any woman, no matter how hot she happens to be. (What’s the worst that happens? You get rejected? Boo-hoo. You will live to fuck another day.) 2) I can make them laugh. Remember both of the above and I give you my word, your success will come quickly and frequently. 3) Never forget who you were when you first met. That was who she was attracted to in the first place. If you were a sniveling, whiny bitch without a spine then, well… good luck and God speed in life in general. But chances are, you weren’t; so don’t be one down the road. Because I promise you, as soon as you do, that’s the moment she begins looking elsewhere.

Keep your balls, gents. Sometimes, it’s all we’ve really got.


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