Your vomit-inducing Facebook comments are ruining the Internet

Your vomit-inducing Facebook comments are ruining the Internet

Here’s another reality check, women (and the same can be said for men, as well): When you meet someone, you’re meeting their representative. They are putting their best foot forward. Don’t base a fucking relationship on a perfect façade. Get to know the person. See how they react in a difficult situation. Watch how they treat other people. Understand who they are as a person, what makes them tick. Only then, if all is to your liking, should you decide to enter into a relationship. Not after a week of sex and realizing the most significant commonalities you share are a hatred for mayonnaise and a love for puppies… That’s why dating was invented; to discover what you want and don’t want from a potential partner (and to be fucking multiple women at the same time, of course).


And men, for fuck’s sake… don’t allow your chick to post any of the above about you. It’s bad enough you’ve chosen to enter into a relationship with an attention-starved narcissist, but now you’re allowing her to emasculate you for all the Interwebs to see?! Love one another! Great! Please! The world needs more of it! But to fucking spew it all over Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, whatever…?!

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All you’re doing is screaming out, “I am in a relationship, and that is important! Look at me! Look at my man/woman! Look at us! We’re hot! And you don’t have this, so be jealous!” And when you post vomit-inducing crap like, “My love for you is deeper than the deepest ocean…” on their timeline, your friends can see that shit, too. And if they were true friends, they’d call you out for being a little bitch. That’s how you feel? Outstanding! Keep it between the two of you; making such significant feelings public diminishes the meaning behind them. Not to mention, all I see when I read such things on Facebook is two people electronically marking their territory. It’s akin to a dog pissing on a tree, but when my dog urinates, I don’t want to punch an infant in the mouth.

Ladies, just stop. Be happy and in love, but don’t make your dude look like a eunuch with your mushy posts and pet names. He may not be the manliest of men, but he still has a dick, and that counts for something. And men, stop allowing this shit to happen! You’re as much a part of the problem as your vagina-having counterparts.

The rest of the Interwebs thank you for your cooperation in this matter.


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