Tales From The Dance Floor:  Vol 2

Tales From The Dance Floor: Vol 2

Maybe it’s a confidence issue, or jealousy, or both. We can never really be sure, but what we do know is your woman is acting like a dirt bag.


There’s another category of women. Maybe your girl is actually bisexual, or she’s pretending to be bisexual to turn you on. Doesn’t really matter which because that’s an awesome woman, right? Yeah, fuck you guys again. Dancers won’t even let you go downtown in a champagne room, we’re definitely not going to let your girlfriend. To make the situation worse your girl is probably not used to being rejected, and it’s absurd that, for technicality’s sake, a sex worker is rejecting her now. I know dancers who’ve had their hair pulled so they’d get on their knees. I’ve seen them come out of champagne rooms with bruises all over their chest, and hand prints on their assets. One night, I had to grab a girl’s wrist and twist her arm behind her back until she cried “uncle” because she would not stop trying to touch my clam. I’ve left a champagne room while a couple was still in the full act of fellatio. Management went to break it up and the girlfriend proceeded to complain that she shouldn’t have to pay for the room because I wouldn’t help give the blowjob. Sorry, sweetheart, I prefer to fellate for my own enjoyment, not for cash.

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Lastly, I don’t go to McDonald’s and start ringing up orders, or to a hospital and try to perform surgery. So many times I’ve seen women come to our club and climb up on our stages and give our customers lap dances at tables. Let me tell you something, girls. Leave it to the professionals. That twerk looks more like a pissed off cat, and what’s worse? You’re doing it for free, and now your man knows you have a thing for his best friend after watching you grind on his member. You’re welcome.


It’s every woman, and it’s every time. They keep insisting “no means no”. But as a dancer, I can say they don’t think it applies to them. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t make it okay when it comes to groping us. It doesn’t make it better either. In fact, it makes it worse. If anyone should know that I don’t want to be finger-banged for money, it’s a woman. If anyone should know that when I’m naked I don’t need every flaw pointed out? It’s a woman.

So, here it is. Just stop. Stop trying to turn your man on by diving under the table to eat a dancer’s lady parts (it’s illegal anyway). If you’re actually bisexual and want a woman to join you and your man? Great! There are swingers clubs for that with complimentary beds in the back. Stop being an dirt bag at the stage, and just sit back and watch the show. If you like what you see then go take a pole-dance class. You don’t need to be “open-minded”. Go out with your girlfriends to the club instead, get drunk, and suck your man’s off when he gets home to remind him of what he can’t get at the club. Because at the end of the day we’re just trying to pay bills or buy drugs unmolested, thank you.


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