Mother’s Day Meme Dump

Mother’s Day Meme Dump

I felt a little uneasy about this one right here.  I posted it because this is a prime example of why women who post pictures with their kids on social media doesn’t make them good parents.

While I am a total disappointment,  think my mom still loves me.  Maybe.  I’m not quite sure.  She told me not to come home for Thanksgiving.

No mom.  I can’t have ramen anymore.  I need something good like oreos and milk.  Maybe some chips.  I need something.

This was my reaction in middle school when my parents found some vodka and weed in my closet.  Told them I was holding it for a friend, then my mom reminded me I didn’t have any friends.

Unfortunately, I grew up in a time when the bowl cut was in and this is what I looked like after I got home from the barber.  The bowl cut was my generations mullet.  So sad.

I’ll admit it.  I cried on my first day of school.  Mainly because my teacher was really old and smelled like bengay and formaldehyde.  I’m pretty sure she was the crypt keeper because she’s still alive at 178 years old.

It’s a lose lose situation here.  The only thing you can do is go help without asking.  This is a lesson us men will never learn because I still fail to do this in any relationship I’m in.  I went from my mom yelling about dishes to my girlfriends yelling about dishes.  This is why I’m single and live like a wild animal.

This would have been better than anything I got when I was in school.  I had to eat the horrible school lunches that looked like prison food and was made by one old lunch lady and 16 special ed students who probably didn’t wash their hands after scratching their buttcracks.

That’s nothing new.  I love going to target.  I walk through the entire store even though I went there just to get shampoo soap and a toothbrush.  I usually walk out with a new TV and a vacuum cleaner that I’ll never use.

My mom never did this.  I’m pretty sure she would slam on the breaks intentionally hoping I would smash my head on the dashboard or maybe even end up flying through the windshield.  Sorry mom, I’m a survivor and I’m here to disappoint you for years to come.


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