They match with you because you’re funny, good looking, took a photo in front of a car that isn’t yours, have a six pack, whatever. So you take the proverbial bull by the horns and send a message… never to be returned. And I’m not referencing the douchetards who couldn’t form a coherent sentence or witty remark if their brain cells spontaneously doubled. Those messages SHOULD be disregarded, because, let’s face it ladies, if you fuck a guy who opens with, “‘Sup gurl? What dat mouf’ do?” you don’t deserve a penis the likes of my own.
And I’m not referencing the douchetards who couldn’t form a coherent sentence or witty remark if their brain cells spontaneously doubled
I’m speaking of fine gentlemen like myself, who throw themselves at the mercy of gaggles of self-important brainless women who are seeking nothing more than validation they weren’t provided by their (lack of) father figures.
If all you’re doing on a dating app is seeking attention, at least be honest about it, and write, “Looking for a man who will treat me like I treat my chihuahua, ‘Princess Coco Chanel.'” At least if I read something along those lines, I know the option of me walking you around my bedroom on a leash isn’t off the table. And really, at the end of the day, isn’t that what dating apps are all about?
Happy fucking, kids.
COMMENTS
Truth.
We all know what writing about bedding absurdly smokin’ women means…it only happened on paper.