Man who was wrongly imprisoned for 31 years gets $75 in compensation
Our legal system is absolutely fucked. After being falsely convicted of rape and stealing a TV and taking everything away from this guy they paid him a little over two dollars a year in restitution. Fuck that. I’d rather be back in prison dodging dicks in the shower. Now he’s seeking the maximum compensation which is 1 million dollars. If he was paid just 50 thousand dollars a year over that span he would have made over 1.5 million dollars. Oh yeah, and he would’ve been fucking free. Give this man a pound of blow, a beach house in South Beach and let him live out the rest of his years making up for lost time.
Judge blocks Texas from requiring fetal remains be buried
Thank God for this ruling. I was worried that I was going to have to figure out a way to fit all the burials of my aborted fetuses in to my 2017 budget. I’m just curious, on the epitaph, what does is say for date of birth and death? I’m assuming you would go by date of conception and date of abortion? Here lies an unnamed glob. Most likely conceived next to a dumpster behind Bub’s dive bar on January 15th of 2017. Sucked out by a vacuum cleaner at Planned Parenthood on March 25h 2017. People are looking at this all wrong, it was really a stimulus to the funeral industry.
12 New York City Cabbies Arrested, Accused of Running Up Fake Fares
Nothing makes me happier than the demise of the cab industry. These shady mother fuckers will do anything to fuck you over for an extra few bucks. They’ll lie about their credit card machines not working just so you have to pay cash. This is why I love Uber so much. They’re doing to the cab industry what Netflix did to Blockbuster and their outrageous late fees. I can’t wait until the only place you can see a Yellow Cab is in a fucking museum and all these towel headed camel jockeys are forced to take whatever Uber decides to give them. Good riddance.
UPS Delivers Sniper Rifle to New York Home Instead of Kid’s Christmas Gift
I’ve been wrong all along. Santa Claus does exist. He works for UPS. Why would you complain about this? Even if you have no use for it you could always sell it on the black market. There’s always a new DC sniper looking for a misplaced gun. In all honesty, the dad probably ordered for himself and forgot to ship it to his office so his wife wouldn’t find out. My bad baby, I meant to order some legos and for some reason we got a sniper rifle.
Russia does the Hunger Games for real in Siberia but no guns are allowed
Is anybody else concerned about Russian and their need to continuously do things that are batshit crazy? Don’t get me wrong, I kind of want to watch this just to see what goes down. They said rape, murder, and everything else goes while on the show. They also said they are subject to the laws of Russia and can be arrested. That’s some confusing shit. Imagine the government telling you it’s OK to rob the bank for entertainment value but then saying you might be arrested after everybody got their kicks out of it. I guess this is what happens when you live in the blistering cold of eternal winter and vodka.
COMMENTS