That’s enough about me… let’s talk about social media. 2015 is almost over & it’s no secret that the thirst for popularity on social media has reached the pinnacle of its existence. These girls are taking their clothes off, snapping a mediocre picture of their bare asses with their iPhones, posting it on their Instagram accounts (after buying 12K followers), and all of a sudden they’re listing their booking information in their profiles. RUH. LAX. Just because you got a fake ass and a boob job & started drinking protein shakes does not make you a fitness model. If you’re not actually scheduling photoshoots with established photographers and not some creep you find off of Model Mayhem, then you are NOT. A FUCKING. MODEL. If you’ve been a ‘model’ for over 5 years & haven’t yet had your big break, maybe it’s time you choose a career path that’s a little more suited to your capabilities, like, sorting the dressing rooms in Forever 21. Or, if you need the attention so badly, just say fuck it and go into porn where there’s a niche for ugly bitches. Until then, tuck your tits back in your shirt & squeeze the duck juice out of your lips, Kylie Jenner. Then, if that shit isn’t bad enough, these same girls have the audacity to get offended when Chester the Molester is blowing up their comments with remarks like, “I’d suck a fart straight out of her butthole.” Believe me, sweetheart, I can assure you that none of these men browsing your page are successful, well-rounded gentlemen looking to sweep you off your feet and treat you right. The respect that you give yourself is the same respect that a man will give you. So maybe try taking yourself off the clearance rack & put yourself under the glass with the valuables.
Just because you got a fake ass and a boob job & started drinking protein shakes does not make you a fitness model.
Now, on another note, what makes you men think that you have any room to judge a woman based on her looks when I click on your name and it takes me to a page that’s either private, or you’re posted up looking like Igor with a meth addiction. PUH. LEEZ. And whatever happened to ‘playing it cool’? Just because your dumb ass is hidden behind a screen you think that a chick is gonna respond to your thirsty ways? If you wouldn’t say it to a girl’s face out in public, don’t say it on social media. And for the most part, if you’re not hung like a horse, have the body of a god, or the face of an angel, we don’t really give a fuck about what you think regarding our appearance! Maybe the insecure ones do… but hey, lighten up, they’ve got enough problems.
if you’re not hung like a horse, have the body of a god, or the face of an angel, we don’t really give a fuck about what you think regarding our appearance!
It’s really sad that people spend most of their time with their nose in their phones “doing it for the gram” and constantly trying to “get their likes up”. How about you try being a cool person in real life and then people will actually like you! Alas, deep down we know that most of you are materialistic, self-absorbed skanks and assholes, and being cool is easier said than done. But please remember, I’m not judging you, I’m just saying what nobody else has the balls to tell you to your face. Furthermore regarding social media, what’s up with all these stalkers who add & follow you and then they never like a SINGLE ONE of your fucking pictures?! Are you scrolling down your entire newsfeed and you seriously don’t like ANY of that shit you just saw? Really?! Or the ones who follow an account just to talk shit on every single picture the person posts. It’s called ‘unfollow’ you salty little bitch. Get your own life, then maybe you’ll be less worried about everybody else’s.
That’s it for now, my tasteless darlings. I look forward to a beautiful future together.
Onward and upward!
Chelsea Alexandra Heil (@czelsea.alexandra)
COMMENTS
Love it! Well said, I knew you were something special all the way back to your red lobster days!
Haha, love you Iggz!
What if I’m hung, have a nice body and red hair too?!? Lol…..you seem like you’re gonna fit in perfect. (Pun intended) (( or not lol))
Sounds like you’re a keeper!
Haha duhh!! Finally I’m getting some love.
Hit me up sometime chels!!!
Love this ginger broad already!! Happy hunting and look forward to reading your shit!
😉
Will you marry me? I expect a dowry of 200,000 ducats from your family (and two goats, I’m a prized commodity), you will only be allowed to wear the Slave Leia outfit, you must serve me whiskey every hour on the hour (Irish, neat), and blowjobs every fortnight.
You better bring it hard because this page will destroy you. Good luck , I dont see ya making it
I came here to see your nudes
Where the fuck are they?
Stay tuned. If my popularity rises enough, I’m sure an ex-boyfriend will leak some…
…how in the hell do you have the gall to call yourself an author? You write like a teenager, you would barely pass a GED exam.
You’re right, graduating college with Honors and becoming an editor of a magazine for 4 years is nothing to write home about. But hey, I’m the one blogging for TTG while you’re only appearing in the comments (using improper capitalization), so who’s the real retard? Don’t worry, I’ll wait. 😉
Quick call 911 you just got burned
I’m hung like a hamster, the god is Buddha and its more like angel food cake. However, I can lick my eyebrows and breath through my ears. Marry me, you salty tart!
Not because of any misogynistic bullshit either, but for the mere fact that she thinks women are as strong as she pretends to be. Notice the bold lettering on what women look for in men? She left out money and intelligence like I haven’t been shaming nerds with my conquests since ’97. I’d say 6/10 on your first piece, pick up the slack before Christmas and I’ll get you a gift.
😉
I give this first piece a 5/10. Actually, it’s a 7/10, the 3 point deduction because it’s partially a rant about really stupid shit but otherwise entertaining; the other 2 point deduction you get because you’re a woman and that’s just how the world works. Welcome to TTG 🙂
Haha, well played.
I scrolled all the way down and saw her face. Then I realised why she wants to show everything but her face in the photo at the top. Nice try. You’re highly sexual? Pics or it didn’t happen.
Are you fucking BLIND this chick is hot (no sleaze just stating a fact) and she sounds like a top bird. Fucking moron
I like this article
I like you.
Posting a bikini picture of yourself on an article mocking social media. The hypocrisy is strong with this one. TTG, you could at least have chosen a woman with intellect, not a skanky hoe who behaves exactly like the majority of the female gender.
You mad?
Admin chooses pics. Writer writes. Loosen your bra hooks, Babette, it’s squeezing putrid bullshit out your every orifice!
Somebody give this chick a microphone. I’m already in love
Did your nails fall off writing that article sugar tits?
I give you 8/10 writing prose, 8/10 hotness.
I have the body of adonis and my package curves slightly upwards.
Let’s see what you’re fucking made of.
tits or gtfo
Heil Titler
I prefer C.Heil. Shouting encouraged. German accent a plus. 😉
I, I… Think I love you.
Great Intro. I Agree with you. In reading your comments about instagram “models” I am reminded by a line Dave Chappelle said in one of his stand up’s about approaching women in the club and women being offended. He said (as a woman) “Just because I am dressed this way doesn’t mean I am this way. Yes just because they dress that way doesn’t mean they are that way . But, you’re wearing a whores uniform” It’s the same girls who them want to be taking seriously.
“What these tasteless gents are doing is something I can get behind”, yo pretty sure this means you’re getting behind the dudes…with a strap on…railing their buttholes. Whatever floats your titties, don’t worry I’m not going to kinkshame you kiddo. 😉 #feminism