Tasteless News:  Dirty stories from Jan 5th

Tasteless News: Dirty stories from Jan 5th

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OFFICER RESIGNS AFTER BEING CAUGHT ON VIDEO PUNCHING WOMAN

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This just goes to show that nobody is above getting their ass whooped by a cop.  Day after day I see stories like this, and people wonder why we don’t trust police.  I don’t think people will truly complain about police brutality until we undercover some underground dog fighting ring similar to what Michael Vick was doing.  The only way people can agree on anything is when it comes to the abuse of animals.  

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Police: Man at Ohio Walmart used syringe to squirt semen on women

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Forget fucked up, this doesn’t even sound pleasureable.  The guy rubbed one out in either his car or the bathroom of Wal Mart.  Both of those places sound like horrible locations to skin the one eyed snake.  Not only that, he had to nut into a syringe and then walk around just to find the right woman to squirt it on.  If some dude squirted some fluid out of a syringe on me in public, I would be relieved to find out it was his baby batter instead of something far worse.  

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Principal admits stealing nude photos from students’ phones, police say

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We all I’m fucking thrilled I never had to deal with nudes in high school.  It seems like it’s becoming trouble for everybody.  Back in my day, the only way to get nudes was to have a girl snap some polaroids, and that never happened.  Way too much effort.  I didn’t get my first nude sent to me until I was 19 and it was on a shitty camera phone and the image was pixelated as fuck.  I’m starting to think that cell phones for teenagers is becoming more trouble than it’s worth.  I’m sure if I was in high school right now my dick pics would be all over the internet for various reasons.  There were a few creepy teachers I’d suspect of stealing my nudes.  

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