I also got to meet the “Pee Guy”. He was buying dancers endless redbulls and booze for when he got a 15 minute room, and the details became clear when I heard those dancers giggling in the dressing room about how disgusting he was. The best part of the conversation was how bad, because of him, they all had to piss, and that he better pick one of them soon. Yes, Pee Guy was creatively named because he wanted dancers to piss on him. More specifically, he wanted dancers to piss in his mouth. The two he did pick dragged around a grey tarp from office, to champagne room at the back of the club, and then again to the showers. I had to applaud their thoughtfulness for the next girl that would be in that room.
Yes, Pee Guy was creatively named because he wanted dancers to piss on him. More specifically, he wanted dancers to piss in his mouth.
I had absolutely no desire to piss in a guy’s mouth. I had no desire to participate in any kind of water sport, but there I was at the bar in a moment alone between customers when he finally got around to asking if I’d like a drink. I didn’t turn it down. I almost never turn them down. I hid laughs when he asked if I liked that drink, and if I’d want another. I continued to say yes, but the one question I knew that had yet to come was the one I really couldn’t say no to. Let’s face it, saying no doesn’t only mean you’re passing on making money, but passing on making the club money as well.
But I have to admit; I think vodka can give me some bright ideas. Those ideas range as to whether it’s to write articles for savage comedians in California, or the response I gave Pee Guy when he wanted me to participate in his fetish.
“Have you heard about me?”
“I have,” I answered.
“What do you think?”
“Well,” I sipped my screwdriver first, “I think if you want freaky shit, you need to pay a freaky price.”
It’s been a few months since, and he still has never reproached me.
Now, I’m not saying anything bad about my fellow strippers, but I meant what I said about the price. I always thought of the lap dance as that dry humping and fevered grabbing we all did in High School, except these days I have a rule: “please keep your hands off my cunt”. Technically I’m only required to strip in a champagne room, dance around and even that bit is left up to my discretion. Why would I do something so beyond my job description for regular pay? And in his defense, why pay me extra when so many girls are willing to run around the club with full bladders for the regular 15-minute rate.
Thank you, vodka. 
COMMENTS
Excellent article. So how much to piss one someone? 😀
Yes. Haha
I have several good friends who are both current and ex strippers, and all of them say that stripping for women is much much worse that doing so for men, they get way grabbier among other things I won’t get into supposedly.
Anyways I’m curious if you could do an article on the differences from stripping for different sexes?
Both I and all my stripper and ex stripper friends are from canada for the record.
I had a guy I named dog food guy….he would bring in at least 600$ he would either get a hour for 350$ or a half hour for 195$. The rest was my tip. He would bring in a dog bowl and a can of Hormel chili. The entire room he would empty the chilly into the bowl and have me wiggle my toes in it. He would lay on the ground with his head by the bowl. He would rub himself thru his pants but never touched me. When he left he would take the bowl with him. Staff had a wet rag waiting for me. To be honest. I loved this guy. It was much better than the all to common question of can I Fuck you. Will you suck my dick or can I touch/kick your pussy.
Helluvah read TGM!
I’m considering becoming a cocktail waitress at a strip club. I’m concerned because the strip clubs in stl aren’t in the safest neighborhoods. What would be your advice on staying safe since I don’t own a car? Will I be able to make enough money my first night to catch a cab home? I really don’t want to catch a bus that late.