Ask A Stripper: Tales From The Pole

Ask A Stripper: Tales From The Pole

Customers that I’m chatting up usually ask if I have any plans for my life after I can’t strip anymore, so when I tell them I already finished college it usually earns me a look of surprise. I suppose it’s appropriate to wonder why a stripper with a degree would be grinding her pussy on men for $25 a song. I’ve learned to laugh and say, “Oh, I was an English major.” In that sentence I’ve solved the mystery, and most laugh too. For the record, I didn’t start stripping or drinking until after college. Through a stripper acquaintance I learned I could have $500 nights for being naked instead of sifting through endless piles of submissions from writers trying to get published while I’m trying to be a writer getting published.

It’s three years later, and after a drunken shift at the club I currently work at, and the night cap afterwards at the local dive bar, I got this bright idea to ask if I could write articles for these Tasteless Gentlemen. The next day I remembered asking when I read the reply that I should send along some writing samples. I decided during my hangover I’d give it a try, and to give a collection of my dealings with the random and regular members of pervert row.

I suppose it’s appropriate to wonder why a stripper with a degree would be grinding her pussy on men for $25 a song.

Male customers can be divided into two main categories: those who just want the happy hour drink prices while watching tits flop about the stage, and those who don’t mind shelling out the cash to do a little touching. My current club is nothing like my previous one because the customer pool is much smaller, and the rules are drastically different. It was a tough change for me in regards to what’s allowed to happen at the bar or the stage while you’re still convincing a customer that they want a lap dance. That first month I was still pushing hands off my thighs for fear of the DJ’s voice raging at me over the speakers about contact on the floor, and all the while the dancer next to me had her top off and was twerking her ass on the crotch of some guy’s pants. I was not popular.


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  • comment-avatar
    david vega 8 years

    Excellent article. So how much to piss one someone? 😀

  • comment-avatar
    Jason 8 years

    Yes. Haha

  • comment-avatar

    I have several good friends who are both current and ex strippers, and all of them say that stripping for women is much much worse that doing so for men, they get way grabbier among other things I won’t get into supposedly.

    Anyways I’m curious if you could do an article on the differences from stripping for different sexes?

    Both I and all my stripper and ex stripper friends are from canada for the record.

  • comment-avatar
    Brittney 8 years

    I had a guy I named dog food guy….he would bring in at least 600$ he would either get a hour for 350$ or a half hour for 195$. The rest was my tip. He would bring in a dog bowl and a can of Hormel chili. The entire room he would empty the chilly into the bowl and have me wiggle my toes in it. He would lay on the ground with his head by the bowl. He would rub himself thru his pants but never touched me. When he left he would take the bowl with him. Staff had a wet rag waiting for me. To be honest. I loved this guy. It was much better than the all to common question of can I Fuck you. Will you suck my dick or can I touch/kick your pussy.

  • comment-avatar
    Robert 8 years

    Helluvah read TGM!

  • comment-avatar

    I’m considering becoming a cocktail waitress at a strip club. I’m concerned because the strip clubs in stl aren’t in the safest neighborhoods. What would be your advice on staying safe since I don’t own a car? Will I be able to make enough money my first night to catch a cab home? I really don’t want to catch a bus that late.

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