The weekend is here, and while I alternate my weekends at this age between complete debauchery and things like wine tasting, there’s one constant. That constant is there are always sick and disgusting things that are running through my head. It doesn’t matter if I’m at a wedding, a birthday party, a strip club or a fancy restaurant, you shouldn’t venture into my thoughts without a condom and a shot of penicillin. The one thing that can keep me satisfied on a daily basis besides drugs, sex and alcohol, is completely reckless and messed up humor. That’s why I do what I do. So on this good Friday, let’s take a moment to appreciate all the people that say the things you wish you could say, and do the things you wish you could do all so you don’t have to expose your sick and twisted nature to the rest of the world.
I Identify as Hispanic. Don’t just me for that. Call me Jesus
Man, that’s brutal. What was this kid doing?
Finally, a sport I can get behind
Speaking of which, time for some drugs and alcohol
The truth of the internet
They won’t hire you because you looks like characters on Game of Thrones
Cat people are the weirdest people in the world
I guess he doesn’t have the high ground anymore
What do Sarah Palin and the Iron Man suit both have in common? They both had Downy Jr’s inside them
Shia has completely lost his mind