“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
– Oscar Wilde
Ever noticed the look your girlfriend gives you after watching a romantic comedy? Like you’re a parasite she’d gladly shed for the simple fact you haven’t built a structure visible from outer space in her honor? She gives you that look because she truly believes that there’s some guy out there who posses all the qualities of the rom com lover and will supplant you. So, what are those qualities?
He has to live in New York City, because for some fucking reason nothing is romantic unless it’s among the city lights or Central Park. Never mind that were you to have your first kiss in New York City there’d probably be a bum pissing on a building right behind you, or somebody like me drunk and puking his guts out on 5th avenue. He also has to have some massive loft as if most of those who inhabit New York city don’t live in an apartment where the kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom are all part of the same room.
Never mind that were you to have your first kiss in New York City there’d probably be a bum pissing on a building right behind you, or somebody like me drunk and puking his guts out on 5th avenue.
Not only does he have this amazing loft, but he’s miraculously able to afford it on some run of the mill job like a bartender or a photographer. Even though his income and residence don’t line up, but because of his job he has an unbelievable amount of free time he’s able to dedicate to her neurosis. He’s tall, good looking, well dressed, he’s unbelievably charming, everybody loves him but there’s a downside to him. Do you know what it is? He doesn’t believe in marriage.