I’ve found myself in an equation like this before: Me + a beautiful woman + a mutual attraction + an emotional bond = bisexual tension. Before I continue I want to clear something up. I’m not a lesbian. Hell, I wouldn’t even call myself bisexual. Yeah I’ve made out with plenty of girls (all but one with no feelings involved), but I’ve never licked box or had the pleasure of receiving that favor. In fact, the thought of going down to bean town kinda scares me.
Do I find other girls attractive? Fuck yeah. Beauty is beauty whether in man, woman, nature, whatever. I can recognize and appreciate beauty. Another thing I must clarify: I have plenty of girl friends that I’ve never felt a sexual intimacy with. I think many of them are absolutely gorgeous, but I’ve never made out with them earnestly nor have I wanted to. Twice now it’s been different.
The first girl was a lesbian friend from Colorado. Let me set the scene for you… We were sitting alone in my bedroom one night having a private conversation. I was getting her perspective on my on-and-off toxic relationship I was stuck in at the time. The lights were low and we were sitting side by side on my bed. She consoled me and finally ended up telling me how I deserve better. That’s when we started making out.
There was no alcohol involved, no boys around to tease—this was real. And it was hot. This went on for a few minutes and things were getting pretty heavy, but then something in me clicked off… “I’m not into girls.” And I knew I wasn’t ready to take that plunge into the carpet. I’ve always kept that encounter in the back of my mind. It was one of the more passionate moments in my life. It hasn’t been until now that I’ve been faced with yet another intimate female connection.