I’ve written various blunt articles about the ugly truths of dating and hooking up which elicit two types of responses. One of which acknowledges the harsh truth in the article and the other is an emotional, or angry one that attempts to discredit any point I’ve made. The latter comes in a variety, all of which try to paint me and not the content in a negative light. They usually say things like I’m salty, I have mommy issues, I’m uneducated, I’m a virgin, I’m lonely, or I’m shallow.
By saying I have mommy issues or questioning the way I was raised is a way of saying my values are out of place or that my view of the world is flawed, and I’m maladjusted because of how my parents raised me. So, how was I raised? I’m close with both my parents and they’re still happily married. They’re both psychologists which meant growing up I was given insights into the human psyche that most people aren’t exposed to. It’s not from them trying to lecture me but from conversations we had because I was genuinely interested. They’ve always been supportive of what I do, and we’ve always been very open with each other. They allowed me to make my own decisions, both good and bad, learn from the results, and offered me guidance along the way.
If I have a healthy and functional relationship with my parents and I was raised with proper values, then it must be that I’ve never left home and experienced life. By saying that I live in my mom’s basement, it means anything I say can’t be true because I’m scared to leave home. I left home when I was eighteen. I moved from the Bay Area down to San Diego and I’ve lived on my own for 13 years now. This means that the years of my life spent on my own have almost matched the years I spent living with my parents. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I have real furniture and live as a fully functional adult. I own my own business. I pay my bills and I wipe my own ass.