Author: Chelsea

ChelseaToken Tasteless Gentlewoman. "All of us are assholes. Some of us are just shittier than others."

My Mexican Girlfriend

My Mexican Girlfriend

I’ve found myself in an equation like this before: Me + a beautiful woman + a mutual attraction + an emotional bond = bisexual tension. Before I conti ...
Marriage: A Sucker’s Bet

Marriage: A Sucker’s Bet

One piece of paper can fuck up everything. It’s very similar to the word “relationship” except on a much higher level, marriage is a surefire way to e ...
ARE YOU SYRIAS?

ARE YOU SYRIAS?

It’s about to get real violent up in here. And if you don’t keep up with current events, then you won’t know about the crazy, organized sexual assault ...
Feeling Myself: Inside These Walls

Feeling Myself: Inside These Walls

It’s not about you. It’s about masturbation. There’s not a thing in the world that tops the feeling of feeling myself. While the sensation of sex is a ...
Girls Suck

Girls Suck

I can’t help but feel bad for you men. Why? Because you have to date women. I have a hard enough time finding female friends that are up to my standa ...
Author Introduction: Chelsea

Author Introduction: Chelsea

My name is Chelsea Heil, and you best believe I'm a fuckin' lady. I've always had an offensive sense of humor, so naturally, what these tasteless gent ...
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